Simon Cowell Can’t Afford a New Girlfriend

One bad breakup can sour a dumped soul’s entire romantic outlook, especially if the breakup costs the poor romantic almost $9 million.

Imagine then sad Simon Cowell’s reluctance to hook up again with a member of the fair sex.

After having reported that the American Idol super judge had shelled out a queen’s ransom to ex-girlfriend Terri Seymour, People magazine still had the nerve to ask about the man’s dating intentions.

“Don’t worry about me,” replied surly Simon, supposedly dumped with a phone call. “I’m off women now.”

Well, if he ever gets lonely for a nice, full, robust bust, he can always snuggle up to his own.