Dita Von Teese: No Nookie for Russell Brand!

Take a picture, or a garter belt, Russel Brand. It will last longer.

Despite British comedian Brand’s best attempts to vocalize his desire for old-school glam goddess Dita Von Teese, she’s not biting.

“I will not be shagging Russel Brand,” the 36-year-old fetish model told UK newspaper The Sun. “Just because I gave him my number does not mean I’ll be going on a date with him.”

Brand, 33, is famous for leaving voicemails for his conquests that describe in specific detail his, um, intentions for the lady at hand.

“I was the subject of one of his calls once,” confides Dita, “but I didn’t answer the phone thank goodness! I just saw his name come up on screen and thought, ‘I don’t think I’m going to answer that right now.'”

Poor Russell. It’s not a total freeze-out, however.

“…[Brand] is a lot of fun. I like him. And I can totally handle guys like that,” Von Teese added, recognizing the good fun in Brand’s phone games.

If the Forgetting Sarah Marshall actor digs the Dita Type, there are plenty of doppelgängers ripe for the calling.