Sharon Osbourne: A Plastic Surgeon’s Best Friend

Most people gazing upon Sharon Osbourne’s visage would assume that her beauty is the natural gift of a benevolent creator.

But not so, the 56-year-old Osbourne family matriarch admits to Ladies’ Home Journal.

“My breasts, my face, liposuction, a tummy tuck, a leg lift,” Osbourne tells the mag, detailing her prolific experiments in cosmetic-surgery procedures. “I’ve had everything you can think of except for my eyes and lips. I wouldn’t touch them.”

Of course not; who would want Sharon to alter those flawless peepers?

Besides, if Osbourne is really the enthusiastic brawler she’s accused of being, nature will provide its own mascara to gussy up her eyes.

After all, she wouldn’t be the first Osbourne woman to walk around with a shiner as her most eye-catching accessory.