Robert Pattinson Talks Love And Sex

Once the white hot shock of Robert Pattinson’s GQ images sink in, you’ll be wanting to know where the actor stands in terms of love and sex.

Hint: Joe Jonas is apparently getting more action than anyone else.

The actor calls his alleged stealing of Camilla Belle, who for several months has been reported to be Jonas’ on-and-off lady friend, “the funniest” rumor about him.

“[Friendship is] the extent of it. I mean, Camilla’s the nicest—she’s a saint. And it’s funny that she’s being portrayed as this home wrecker. She’s literally the most unlikely person to be a home wrecker. It’s just ridiculous.”

And there’s also this one about a Brazilian model.

“There’s this thing about my supposed girlfriend,” he says, “There’s this one girl who’s consistently mentioned. It’s like, ‘He’s dating this Brazilian model’…I’ve never met her.”

Don’t let him fool you, fans. There have been girlfriends before. Just don’t count on Rpattz to actually feel anything.

“I remember when I was a teenager thinking my girlfriend was cheating on me,” Rpattz said, “and going around riling myself up. Pretending to cry. It was totally illegitimate—I actually didn’t feel anything.”

“And I got into my dog’s bed. I was crying and holding on to the dog. I woke up in the morning, and the dog was looking at me like, ‘You’re a fake.'”

And then this time when he allegedly proposed to Kristen Stewart.

“I said that in some interview,” Pattinson broods, “as a joke—’Oh, I proposed to her multiple times.’ And then it gets printed: ‘On the set, he proposed to her multiple times.”

And there are plently of women who want that question popped. Unfortunately, it may not happen as long as he’s so wildly popular.

“I don’t see people. I don’t even have people’s phone numbers. I almost don’t want to have a girlfriend in this environment. “

Furthermore he insists “there’s literally not a single [true] story that could be written about me, I never do anything.”

Except for snuggle up to a certain Jo Bro?

“Okay,” Pattinson said, delivering his final thoughts to GQ’s Alex Pappademas, “I f**ked Joe Jonas.”

“I love him.”