Robert Pattinson: You Really Have to Hand it to Him

Robert Pattinson sure has a knack for concocting bawdy aliases.

First the Twilight heartthrob revealed that he sings under the nom du rock Spunk Ransom.

And now RPattz tells British paper the Guardian that the fake names he uses to register in hotel rooms tend to take a turn toward the blue.

“I was Clive Handjob in Paris,” Pattinson recalls. “Everyone in the hotel called me ‘Monsieur Handjob.’ That was good, cheap fun.”

Speaking of good, cheap fun, Pattinson also expounds on his upcoming tiny indie flick, Little Ashes, which hits screens on May 8. In the past Pattinson had referred to the film—in which he plays surrealist painter Salvador Dali—as “nothing,” which brought no small amount of criticism down upon his pale shoulders. Now Pattinson is going to great pains to clarify his statement.

“I hate having to do all this sh*t! I’ve already been told to apologize for saying it,” Pattinson fumes. “I was just trying to say that it was a tiny, little film. It had a minuscule budget. I was just trying to say that if Twilight hadn’t come along, I don’t know how much Little Ashes would have been publicized. In an ideal world, everyone would go around watching arthouse films about Dali and [Spanish poet Federico] Lorca. But a lot of people have no idea who Lorca even was.”

Wow; a hottie and a champion of obscure poets. It really makes you want to shake the guy’s hand. As long as he washes it first.