Jessica Simpson’s Mutt Has Been Dog-Napped by a Coyote!
Jessica Simpson is putting out an APB (All-Pooch Bulletin)!
The Dukes of Hazzard actress frantically tweeted last night that her beloved Malti-Poo (a maltese-poodle cross-breed; yes, it’s a real thing) Daisy was abducted by a mean ol’ coyote last night.
“My heart is broken because a coyote took my precious Daisy right in front of our eyes. HORROR!” Simpson wrote. “We are searching. Hoping. Please help!”
While Simpson hasn’t yet released a sketch of the suspect, he may be carrying a large box with the words “Acme Corporation” emblazoned on the side and muttering about the fact that he’s a “super genius.”
Anyone who has information on the whereabouts of Daisy is encouraged to contact firstname.lastname@example.org.