PHOTO GALLERY: Where’s My Naked Celebs?

PETA lies.  No, nobody died, except for my heart, just a little.  Pitter-patter-pfft.

“I’d rather go naked than wear fur” claim the various and sundry bubble-boobed celebubrawds PETA snookered into posing for their long running ad campaign to save the skins of creatures great and small.

But, where exactly is this naked part? I mean, implied nudity? For sure. But naked naked?  Nope.  Mind you, most of these PETA-ad participants will gladly lend you a thousand nude photos if you would only search them on Google. But to save an itty-bitty-woodland-critter?  No nipples or cooch.

I like classy. I respect class. I am, in fact, very classy. But I simply can’t abide the false expectations promoted by this false advertising campaign. Yes, indeed, there ought to be a law.

Hear me now, protectors of the zoological: I’m skinning sables and clubbing seals until PETA gives me full-frontal-celebrity.

Peek-a-boo inside our photo gallery of PETA ads past and present to see if you agree that this is a bait-and-switch swindle of epic proportion.