Can Someone Just Get Poor Justin Bieber A Girlfriend Already?

Screw Tiger Woods (oh, whoops!)—the biggest news of the week is Justin Bieber’s shocking revelation in the highbrow tween publication Twist magazine.

The Biebs shares some tidbits from his Holidays past, then drops this bombshell about what he really wants for Christmas:

“I had everything I wanted so that was good, but I’ve actually never had a crush during the holidays….I’m single right now, so you can put that out there if you want!”

Single, you say??? But all your songs are about cars and hangin’ with the bros and gangster sh*t like that…..oh wait… no they’re not. They’re about the difficulties of finding love (despite being a millionaire teen hearthrob superstar adored by every girl in the country who hasn’t gotten a learner’s permit yet).

In case you missed his persistent hinting, this kid is all about romancin’ the ladies, y’see. Just look at sweet, cooing examples from his hit album My World. I think he’s trying to tell us something!

“My money is yours, give you a little more because I love ya, love ya
With me girl, is where you belong, Just stay right here
I promise my dear, put nothing above ya. ” – Love Me

“And girl, You’re my one love.
My one heart.
My one life for sure, lemme tell you one time

Girl I love, girl I love you” - One Time

“Your who I’m thinking of
Girl, you ain’t my runner up
And no matter what your always number one” - Favorite Girl

“I saw so many pretty faces
Before I saw you, you
Now all I see is you
I’m coming for you”- One Less Lonely Girl

While he can’t literally chase after girls these days with that broken foot and all, the Biebs is creative and will figure something out. Just leave it to Bieber…

And girls, give the poor kid some attention already.