Pamela Anderson Is Recording a Single. Excuse Us While We Deliberately Puncture Our Eardrums.

Apparently weary of scaring small children with her leathery skin and Projectile Breasts of Doom, way-former Baywatch babe Pamela Anderson is embarking on a bold new career venture: She’s recording a pop song, entitled “High.”

According to early reports, she’s fully invested in smashing genre barriers, and has locked herself away in a recording studio in an obsessive pursuit of a never-before-heard sound.

Naw, just kidding; she plans to stumble her way through the thing like Anna Nicole Smith’s ghost on an ether binge.

Anderson’s collaborator, fashion designer Richie Rich, tells the New York Post:

“We are recording a pop single together. Pam says she wants to sing, but nothing too difficult, so she’s just going to sing the word ‘high’ over and over.”

Wow; try not to burn yourself out with your perfectionism, Pam! Remember, that’s what drove Brian Wilson nuts.

Can’t wait for the follow-up single, which will consist of Anderson drooling into the microphone for three minutes straight. Set to a techno beat, of course.