Ashley Dupre’s Etiquette Guide for Homewreckers
Ashley Dupre has seen the state of modern homewrecking, and she is appalled at the lack of courtesy and manners displayed by women who choose to sleep with married men these days.
Dupre—the call girl who famously carried on with then-New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, leading to his resignation in early 2008—has spoken out to Extra about the deplorable conduct displayed by the small army of women who now claim to have gone a few rounds with golf champ Tiger Woods.
Condemning the Jaimee Grubbses, Cori Rists, and Holly Sampsons of the world, Dupre—who honed her sleeping-with-married-men skills while employed by the Emperors Club VIP escort agency in New York—is shocked that they would so flagrantly break The Other Woman Code by blabbing their stories to the media.
Says Dupre, “I don’t agree with that they’re doing. I don’t agree with coming forward…I mean, he has a family, he has a wife, he has kids. For people who just come out and say things…that’s really wrong. You’re messing with some one else’s life.”
Well put, Ms. Dupre. And after all, who better to define the rules of sleeping with married men than a seasoned pro, who was actually paid for her ability to discreetly provide extramarital sexual relief to wedded males?
With that in mind, we present Dupre’s other etiquette tips for homewreckers, as she related them directly to us during a nonexistent interview:
1) DON’T FORGET THE FORMALWEAR
Just because they will end up in a crumpled pile in some hotel room off of a remote freeway exit does not mean that your clothes should not reflect your status as a woman who has sex with married men. When servicing one’s married man, it is considered proper form to wear white gloves and extend one’s pinky outward. These formalities not only denote class, but they also prevent the possibility of leaving incriminating fingerprints.
2) THE BLACKMAIL NOTE: AN INVITATION TO BAD MANNERS THAT YOU SHOULD NEVER ACCEPT
At some point, you will seek to receive compensation for the many hard hours you’ve put in sleeping with your married man. This is where many mistresses, caught up in the rush of a prospective payoff, forget that they are upholding a longstanding and noble tradition of adultery enablement. Don’t fall into that trap; always include an SASE and ask for an RSVP with your blackmail note. Likewise, you may be tempted to compose your note from letters that you’ve crudely cut out of a newspaper. Don’t be crass; use an elegant font such a Zircon, English Script or Lucia BT, preferably on linen paper.
3) MEETING THE WIFE: TAKE A BOW, YOU’VE EARNED IT—WITH GOOD MANNERS!
Sooner or later, there’s a good chance that you will encounter the woman whose husband you have been carrying on with. It may not be a voluntary meeting, but rest assured, it is virtually inevitable. When introducing yourself to your lover’s spouse, etiquette dictates that you bow and curtsey—which, aside from being polite, will help you deflect the barrage of punches and scratching that will no doubt be coming your way.
4) SOMETIMES THE BEST HOMEWRECKING IS NO HOMEWRECKING AT ALL
While the above tips are time-tested rules for a mannerly affair, don’t be afraid to apply a rule that’s rarely observed by the modern homewrecker—namely, that choosing not to sleep with a married man will virtually ensure that you will avoid any unpleasantries and gaffes associated with being the other woman.
We hope that any prospective other women reading this will take these tips to heart the next time they decide to sleep with a married man. Now get out there and ruin a marriage—with class!