Tiger Woods Now Too Sleazy Even For US Congress

Looks like Tiger Woods has lost more than the nation’s respect and a couple of endorsement deals this week. The Los Angeles Times is reporting that Woods is no longer in contention for a Congressional Gold Medal, due to his recently revealed compulsion to sleep his way through the national census records.

California Democrat Joe Baca had introduced a bill to grant Woods the highest civilian honor awarded by Congress, citing “his service to the nation in promoting excellence and good sportsmanship, and in breaking barriers with grace and dignity by showing that golf is a sport for all people.”

But in a turn-around that will surprise absolutely no one, Baca withdrew the bill on Wednesday, noting,

“In light of the recent developments surrounding Tiger Woods and his family, I will not pursue legislation awarding him the Congressional Gold Medal this session.”

Wow; a legislative body that’s given the world Newt Gingrich, Gary Condit, Mark Foley and who knows how many other philanderers has deemed Tiger Woods unworthy of its consideration. Tiger, meet rock bottom.

There is a bright spot for Tiger, though; word is that he’s still eligible for the Stunt Driver of the Year Award and an Oscar in the coveted Acting Like a Total Dirtbag category.