Imagined Items From Lindsay Lohan’s Yard Sale

Her financial accounts drained by all her tireless advocacy on behalf of the world’s children (and maybe like one or two appletinis), Lindsay Lohan is now hosting a yard sale, pawning off her “previously worn garments”, which is a fancy way of saying “used clothes”.

Celebuzz spent some time imagining just what kind of priceless items might be available at Lindsay’s front-lawn boutique, and here are a few of our favorite must-haves:

White fuzzy sweater: Worn only once, stained by Sam Ronson’s barf, collector’s item — $35

Pair of “borrowed” pants: Expensive, on loan from a “friend” (little baggie of “friend’s” white stuff sold seperately) — $100

Adidas sneakers: Perfect for hauling ass from the cops, as needed — $17

Porkpie hat: Never worn, gift from father Michael, contains audio tape recorder hidden in the flap — $85

“Situation” towels: Borrowed from the Passages Rehab Center in Malibu — $11/each

“Flash” panties: White, cotton, reflect camera flashes well even in dim light — $5 for the bunch

All we can say is, shop early, shop often!