Charles Barkley & Rudy Giuliani Seek To Form Adultering Celebrity Support Group for Tiger Woods
Golf legend and apparent serial philanderer Tiger Woods might have lost the respect of pretty much everybody on the planet in the last two weeks, but there’s still one group that stands proudly behind him: The elite but untrustworthy community of celebrity adulterers, who are flooding the Internet with sympathy for the linksman.
Former NBA star Charles Barkley, who famously told police that he was in a hurry to receive oral sex from an anonymous woman during his DUI arrest earlier this year, expressed dismay to the Associated Press this week that his buddy Woods had changed his cell-phone number for some reason recently. Sir Charles noted that he could share some invaluable advice with Tiger, if he’d just open his heart and share his new number.
Laments Barkley, who has been married to Maureen Blumhardt since 1989,
“You should reach out to your celebrity friends when things go bad. They’re the only people who understand what it’s like.”
Adding to the swell of sympathy is former New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani, who prior to 9/11 was known as the dirtbag who cheated on Wife Number Two, Donna Hanover, with pharmaceutical sales manager Judith Nathan. Drawing from his own wealth of experience on the matter, Rudy suggested to Us Magazine that Woods should “[h]ang in there” until the whole brouhaha blows over (after which, we imagine, he shot the reporter a lecherous wink).
Cheaters: They might not be loyal to their spouses, but the brotherly bond forged by their adultery is a virtual Rock of Gibraltar. Next up, expect Mel Gibson to hold a press conference in order to publicly give Woods “two thumbs up,” and Jon Gosselin to tell Access Hollywood, “I like his style; we should party together sometime.”