Realizing He’s About To Get Divorced, Tiger Goes Golfing

We hear that a Tiger Woods divorce from wife Elin Nordegren “is 100 percent on.” We’re guessing this figure was calculated by adding one percent for each woman Tiger allegedly cheated with.

After being spotted out this week without her wedding ring, sources close to Elin say that she’s going to take her sweet ass time to start the divorce proceedings, waiting for “all the dirty laundry to be out on the table before she signs anything.”

And how’s Tiger dealing with the pain? Late night golf sessions, apparently. An oh-so-friendly neighbor of Tigers tells Us that the serial cheater has been “coming by in the early evenings only for their counseling and therapy” and then heads straight to the golf course “to clear his head.” 

“He goes after dark so he can’t be seen. For him, what’s more therapeutic than hitting golf balls, the thing he’s best at in the whole world?”

Well we can think of one other thing he’s really good at, but he probably shouldn’t do that.