Jersey Shore Kids Plan on Turning The Golden State Into the Orange-Bronze State

A lousy economy. Drought. The Hilton sisters. California is already suffering all sorts of plagues, but it still can’t possibly be prepared for the hellfire that is about to rain down upon it. The Situation and Pauly D of MTV’s Jersey Shore infamy say they are moving to Los Angeles where they expect to flex their oily abs for the babes of the left coast:

“We’re gonna be roommates”

     — The Situation

Uh-oh, what happens when people stop being polite and start getting terrible? Armageddon, maybe. But is this a full blown bridge and tunnel exodus to the Girls Gone Wild Wild West? Mercifully, Snooki declares that she’s not leaving Jersey:

“I’m an East Coast girl.  I love the winter. I would miss the cold and the snow.”

      — The ever-insightful Snooki


That’s really too bad, because we feel like Los Angeles is just one Snooki away from being a really wonderful place.