Dita Von Teese’s Advice To Little Girls (PHOTOS)

“Why hello there, little girl. Thank you for coming to this signing event for my new book Stripteese, which you should not read for at least like ten more years. I know that you’re still very young, and thus do not yet have a fully formed worldview, so let me give you a couple of pointers on how to be a lady. One, you should make up a fake name and dress yourself like a softcore porn model from the ’40s. Also, you should get married to and divorced from a total weirdo goth shock-rocker who loves lipstick and drinking his own blood. If you follow these two simple steps, someday you too could be taking a totally awkward and inappropriate picture with a child at your own burlesque book signing. Best of luck.”

Click here to see more photos of Dita Von Teese giving back to the children.