Tiger Woods Has an Unorthodox Method of Saving His Marriage

So your marriage is on the rocks thanks to multiple alleged infidelities, and you stand to lose about half a billion dollars in a divorce settlement because you couldn’t keep your Love Club (copyright pending) in your pants.

How do you go about patching up your union?

If you’re Tiger Woods, you apparently spend the holidays with the woman who tore a meteor-sized hole in the fabric of your marriage in the first place.

According to ET Online, golf legend Woods—who’s been accused of sleeping with everything that moves following his Thanksgiving-weekend car accident at his Florida home—was spotted holding hands with rumored mistress Rachel Uchitel at a private Palm Beach, Florida, mansion on Sunday, during a party that was attended by about 300 other revelers.

Sources also report that the two were out merrymaking at Palm Beach’s Everglades Club on Saturday night, and according to some rumors the two are secretly shacking up together in the tony Florida town.

Smart move, Tiger. After all, it’s common knowledge that, if you want to win someone over, it sometimes helps to spark the seeds of jealousy in their head. And after seeing that she’s in danger of losing you forever, your wife Elin Nordegren will no doubt come running back into your arms.

Or smash your skull in with her Five Iron of Vengeance. Whichever…

We can only hope that, during his time-out from golf, Tiger uses his spare time to write a series of self-help books for other, similarly distressed couples.

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