Mariah Carey Keeps the Crazy Acceptance-Speech Train Rolling (VIDEO)

Dear Entertainment Industry,

We can admit it, we were starting to lose interest in your awards season, and probably have been since you cooked up the 10,000th ceremony to shove down our throats annually. But two things happened this week to revive our affection for your seemingly insatiable need to pat yourselves on the back. And those two things were Mariah Carey.

Who among us didn’t delight in the dolphin-voiced diva’s champagne-fortified acceptance speech at the Palm Springs Film Festival on Tuesday? Despite Mimi’s proven penchant for bringing the wacky, we didn’t think she’d be able to top that slur-tastic moment for a long time.

As it turns out, it took her all of one day to crank up the crazy to 11 and break the knob off, at the People’s Choice Awards on Wednesday, as she picked up her trophy for Favorite R&B Artist:

The wobbly approach to the stage. The Happy Hour exuberance of her sloppy enunciation. The wholly unsolicited affirmation that, yes, she and husband Nick Cannon have sexual relations—quite simply, it was enthralling.

And so we implore you, Entertainment Industry: Please keep giving this crazy lady as many awards as possible. We don’t care if she’s actually qualified to receive the awards in question. We don’t even care if they’re actual award ceremonies: You can film the things on a backlot somewhere, with cardboard cutouts for audience members, as long as you televise Mariah’s acceptance speeches for our enjoyment. And do you think Mimi would notice the difference?

Please, we implore you. The future of the awards industry—and, more importantly, our continued amusement—depends on it.

Sincerely,

Your Pals at Celebuzz

Tags: Mariah Carey
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