Simon Cowell Provides Job Stimulus to Paula Abdul. Let the Televised Bickering Commence!

You have to give Simon Cowell credit; he may have all the personality of a penis with ears, but he’s apparently willing to help out a colleague who’s down on her luck.

Cowell has reportedly signed Paula Abdul on as a judge for the American version of his hit British talent show The X Factor, which premieres next year.

Abdul, of course, has been languishing on the unemployment rolls since August, when she (perhaps hastily) bailed on her American Idol gig because they wouldn’t pony up $20 million to retain her loopy services. Abdul won’t be pulling in $20 million on her X Factor stint, but her contract is reportedly worth $4.5 million—a hefty sum, for someone who was probably thisclose to dancing on the street corner for spare change in order to keep a roof over her head.

More importantly, the new deal means that we’ll once again be treated to the sight of Paula and Simon sniping at each other like tipsy relatives at a holiday gathering.

Welcome back, crazy. You’ve been gone too long.