Taylor Lautner's Abs Survive Internet Death Hoax!
Sorry, Internet pranksters, but despite your worst efforts, Taylor Lautner's Abs have withstood your attempt to kill them off in cyberland. E! Online reports that vicious rumor-mongers attempted to terrorize Twi-hard Nation this weekend by making the New Moon beefcake the latest victim of the rash of celebrity death hoaxes that have plagued the Internet recently.
But, as the tricksters should have known, mere scuttlebutt is no match for the chiseled, rippling magnificence of Lautner's abdominal region.
According to the hoax, Lautner succumbed to a cocaine overdose, which should have been a tip-off right away; everyone knows that Taylor Lautner derives his energy from the tears of those foolhardy enough to align themselves with Team Edward.
But just in case there should any question, a rep for Summit Entertainment, producers of the marginally successful Twilight Saga franchise, reassures,
"I am almost 100-percent positive this is a hoax."
Lindsay Lohan's acting career, on the other hand? Yeah, that's totally dead. Still.