Diddy Buys Son A $350,000 Maybach For 16th Birthday Gift, and Other Imagined Celebrity Sweet 16 Presents
It’s all over the news. Diddy bought his son, Justin Dior Combs (yes, Diddy really gave his son a designer middle name!), a $350,000 (give or take a few thou) dollar, Maybach automobile for his birthday.
And, yeah, everybody’s gushing about how indulgent Diddy is with his first-born son (of his total of five children by way of three baby mamas), but the Maybach, as swank and richtastic as it is, still pales in comparison to the imaginary 16th birthday presents of numerous other children of privilege we doctored up for our own amusement.
For instance, for his 16th birthday, Brandon “Greasy Bear” Davis, grandson of oil tycoon Marvin Davis, jumped for joy as he received 1,000,000 geese, the second largest flock on the entire planet. Sadly, Brandon cried as winter arrived a week later and his birthday present flew south for the winter.
It proved to be a crushing blow for the young billionaire-to-be, who has been unable to hold a steady job (or an unsteady job) since.
Still three years away, Lourdes has already started campaigning her Material Girl mom for an amusement park; not to visit there with her friends on her birthday, but the actual amusement park itself. To own it.
Madonna is no naive mom and has already brought in a team of professional negotiators to handle the discussions with her daughter leading up to her 16th birthday party.
For her sweet sixteen, heiress Paris Hilton, begged her daddy for a diamond bigger than a black bear. Rumor is she held her breath and turned blue before her father relented and surprised her on her 16th with a semi-cut stone standing over eight feet tall.
Paris only had the diamond for a month or so before she accidentally left behind the immense stone at a New York’s Bungalow 8 nightclub. She went back to look, but the 400-pound diamond, and her Menthols, were both gone.
Grandson of one of the world’s richest men, Stavros Niarchos III was snubbed by his family on his sixteenth birthday. So he went out an bought the Southeast Asian nation of Burma.
While the status symbol of owning his own country made Stavros feel like a million bucks (or a billion), the nation-state has seen nothing but civil unrest and factional violence since Stavros put it on his Amex Black.