J-Woww Sends Out Hilarious Press Release About Her Guido Secret Service

J-Woww Sends Out Hilarious Press Release About Her Guido Secret Service-photo

How insanely popular (or maybe just insane?) is Jenni Farley, aka Jersey Shore's J-Woww? Not only has she hired a small army of security personnel to prevent her throngs of adoring fans from getting out of hand, but she's actually holding a freaking press conference about her decision to do so. Yeah, seriously, according to this hilarious press release obtained by Celebuzz, which we're reproducing verbatim in its entirety below to preserve the crazy:

MTV MEGA STAR J-WOWW TO SPEAK TO MEDIA TOMORROW REGARDING SECURITY ISSUES OF HER HOMECOMING CELEBRATION ON LONG ISLAND AFTER ALMOST RIOT

MTV mega star J-Woww will be available for media commentary on Long Island reguarding [sic] security issues based on her last appearance which almost resulted in a riot.  She will be talking about the over 200 security officers that will be working with the local police department to ensure eager fans safety at her upcoming homecoming celebration taking place this week on Long Island.

Last week J-Woww, at a appearance in New Jersey, was flooded by over 5,000 people at a local nightclub causing police dressed in riot gear to take charge for the health, safety, and well being of fans.

When: Wednesday, January 27, 2010, 2pm

Where: Glo nightclub; 37 Merrick Ave., Westbury, NY

Let's all just hope that this whole Iraq thing gets wrapped up soon, so that the U.S. military can get back to what it was intended for: Protecting  J-Woww's presumably neon-orange ass. And giving her thrice-weekly mani-pedis. (Look it up, people, it's in the Constitution. Somewhere near the back, we think.)

Discuss

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  • Elizabeth Siegel
    Elizabeth Siegel

    Why JWoww needs security is beyond me... she could knock anyone out! She frequently beats people up!

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