5 Things You Didn’t Know About Ke$ha: The Expanded Edition

[Ed. Note: Following her insightful exploration of the recent Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie breakup rumors, Jessica Rowe, the winner of our Post-Grad Guest Blogger contest, tackles the seemingly bottomless mystery that is Ke$ha. Read on and learn.]

People recently published “Five Things You Don’t Know About Ke$ha,” a list I found quite helpful, as my knowledge of the “Tik Tok” singer was, up to this point, rather limited. I’m still a little fuzzy on how one goes about waking up feeling like P. Diddy, unless you wake up next to a cardboard cut out of J.Lo (don’t think the poor guy ever really got past that one).
I couldn’t help but notice that the article seemed to be missing some key facts:

1. As a child, Ke$ha’s favorite stuffed animal was named Jack. It also looked suspiciously like a bottle of amber liquid.

2. In order to do research for her album Animal, she lived with a colony of meerkats. She eventually had to leave when she refused to take part in group grooming sessions.

3. She recently had to purchase a new washing machine, as the filter in hers exploded due to excessive glitter.

4. As of late the amount of grease in her hair has been so intense, Robert Pattinson was overheard saying: “That girl needs a shower.”

5. She is NOT Lady GaGa. GaGa not wearing pants has a message: She wants her “little monsters” to express themselves however they see fit. Ke$ha’s pant’s were torn to shreds in a fight with a hobo during Happy Hour.

Tags: Kesha, lists
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