American Idol Fans Try to Kill Each Other, Darwin’s Ghost Nods Approvingly (VIDEO)

People, people; yes, we’re all upset that Larry “Pants on the Ground” Platt didn’t advance past the auditions phase, but let’s maintain some perspective here…

Police in St. Petersburg, Florida, arrested 53-year-old resident Cynthia Ware and charged her with attempted murder, following an argument that she had with her boyfriend, Kevin Johnson, over Tuesday’s episode of American Idol.

Well, not so much an argument as a stab-a-thon. It seems that Ware and Johnson, 47, got into a fight about something on Tuesday’s Idol and, when Johnson changed the channel to avoid further conflict, Ware allegedly did the only logical thing in such a situation: She stabbed him repeatedly—five times, in the back—with a 10-inch butcher knife. Oh, and doused him with hot cocoa, scalding his body.

Johnson is currently recovering from non-life-threatening in the hospital, where he’s presumably also seriously considering switching his viewing habits to America’s Got Talent.

Check out the local news report on the incident in the video below.