Charlie Sheen’s “Stolen” SUV Plummets Over Side of Cliff in Middle of the Night, Can’t Possibly Be More To This Story

Ho, hum, another day, another Charlie Sheen related police report.

The troubled-actor’s Mercedes SUV was found out the bottom of a ravine near his Mulholland Blvd. home at around 4:00 am this morning, after crash-sensors in the car automatically alerted emergency services that the vehicle had been in an accident.

Charlie had an obvious explanation for the media and the police: the car was stolen!

How else to explain why the car of a man with a history of drug addiction, and who is to be arraigned Monday for chasing his wife around the house with a kitchen knife, finds itself at the bottom of a hill in the middle of the night.

Obviously, a thief broke into the highly secure, gated community where the Sheen residence is located, made his (or her, of course) way through or over (or under — don’t forget tunneling) the estate home’s fence, broke into the garage, gained entry into the SUV, managed to start the car while bypassing the alarm system, drove the car away from the home, through the gates, across the street, took a turn down the street, headed for the cliff, and leapt from the car as it tumbled over the hillside (while politely closing the door behind).

In the world of Charlie Sheen explanations, this makes sense.

And, in the world of Charlie explanations (as Celebuzz reported yesterday), a 1990 gunshot wound to then girlfriend, Kelly Preston, occurred when Preston picked up a pair of Sheen’s pants in the bathroom, a small gun accidentally fell out of the back pocket, hit the ground, went off, and winged Preston in the arm, all while Charlie was pouring himself a glass of milk in the kitchen.

The police searched the hillside where the car was located but found no evidence of any individual having been in the vehicle. 

Surprised they didn’t find O.J. looking for the real killer of Nicole.