Taylor Lautner's Abs Turn 18, Worldwide Panic Erupts

Taylor Lautner's Abs Turn 18, Worldwide Panic Erupts-photo

Abtastic Twilight wolfman Taylor Lautner turns barely legal today, and the world is going crazy. Reports from numerous locales (mostly in our mind) provide account after account of women becoming overcome by passion in public and private settings over what is now being called "18-Tay Day", with numerous Days of Our Lives superfans having already been rushed to the hospital with hysteria-related complications.

18-TayB

Even celebrities are not immune from reaction to the barely legal status of Taylor Lautner.

18-TayPaula

And the phenomenon is truly global, stretching far beyond the borders of the U.S., as reports come in from around the globe of screaming flash mobs and even accounts of women beating themselves with sticks in the street.

18-TayMatrik

In a press release issued this morning through his publicist, Lautner stated that he wished to thank the millions of people sending birthday wishes, proposals, solicitations, and hotel room keys, but that at this time he was going to remain in hiding, fearing for his bodily safety.

In testament to the latter point, the last known photo of Lautner, taken just moments after he turned 18, clearly shows his immediate peril.

18-TayRun

Happy Birthday, Taylor. 

And, godspeed.

 

Discuss

Default avatar
  • metrobaby
    metrobaby

    hab b-day

  • wolf girl
    wolf girl

    happy birthday taylor!!!!!

  • abigailjune
    abigailjune

    that post frightened me = Happy BIrthday! I hope psycho fans don't try to rape him or something scary now that he's legal. That would be devastating

  • people
    people

    dat cat looks pritty freaky

  • purple roses
    purple roses

    Happy Birthdayyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!XXXX

  • noah
    noah

    This cat is cuter than Taylor's abs.

  • tia
    tia

    lmao!!!!!!

  • roeschs3
    roeschs3

    that was brilliant.

 

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