BUZZINGS: Angelina Jolie Will Not—Repeat NOT—Be Adopting a Haitian Child. So There!

  • Angelina Jolie denies that she’ll be completing her collect-‘em-all set of children by adopting a Haitian kid. Tabloids interpret this as a sign that Brad is leaving her in 3…2…1…  (Dlisted)
  • You mean celebrity moms don’t magically drop back to their pre-baby weight weeks after giving birth? What’s the complete opposite of surprised again? (PopEater)
  • Megan Fox’s Motorola ad thumb double has been discovered. This must be how Woodward and Bernstein felt when they first made contact with Deep Throat. (What Would Tyler Durden Do)
  • Jon Gosselin’s ex classes things up by blabbing that he’s poorly endowed. Congratulations, you now have J-Goss’ junk on your mind. (Bossip)
  • Michael Douglas and Matt Damon will be playing lovers in the upcoming Liberace biopic. You’re welcome for that mental image, too. (Starpulse)