Tila Tequila’s 24/7 Livetweet of Insanity Currently Somewhere Between Miscarriage and Adopting Russian Baby

Tila Tequila’s certainly having her ups and downs these days. In every sense of the phrase.

The A Shot at Love star launched into a Twitter frenzy this weekend that has yet to subside, revealing a remarkable series of events that we have no reason to believe isn’t 100 percent accurate, because she’s never given us any reason to doubt her before. Totally.

The whole roller-coaster ride began when Tequila was rushed to the hospital after “denting” her head, the result of a nasty fall from a chair (she apparently hasn’t quite mastered the art of sitting down yet). And we can only assume that the ensuing head trauma is responsible for the bizarre barrage of Tweets she issued next.

In a series of cryptic messages, Tequila hinted that she might be in danger of miscarrying the fetus that she’s been claiming to be carrying around in her womb for the last month or so:

“Im gonna go see my private doc as soon as their office opens in about 2 hours. I hate hospitals but it feels like sharp stabbing in my belly…It hurts so bad I literally woke up from my sleep….i dont know whats wrong? God this pain is too much!! I cant bare [sic] it =(“

Ah, but apparently there’s only so much time to worry about the possibility of losing your first-born, because Tila was quickly on to another topic. You ready to hear what it is? We’re pretty sure you’re not, but here goes anyway: She’s planning to adopt a two-year-old boy from Russia. Yeah, really:

“THIS IS 100% CONFIRMED!!!!! I’M GOING TO ADOPT A BABY BOY ABOUT 2 YEARS OLD FROM RUSSIA AND IM GOING TO BE HIS MOMMY! SO HAPPY!!! AHHH IM SO HAPPY I CANT EVEN EXPLAIN IN WORDS HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW! THEN I WILL SPEND A MONTH IN RUSSIA WITH MY NEW SON 2 BOND WITH HIM!”

Is this really anything more than the deluded rantings of somebody who’s acquired a new dent in her head in the last couple of days? We certainly hope so, if only because it would mean that Tila would be Russia’s problem for a while. We could really use a break.