Heidi Montag Wants to Massage Your Ears With Two New Songs (VIDEO)

Fear not; though we were all devastated by the passing of Knack frontman Doug Fieger earlier this week, the art of crafting classic, timeless pop definitely lives on. Need some proof? Hills vixen Heidi Montag has graced the world with not one, but two new songs today, because she loves us all and wants us to be happy. And dancing.

“Trash Me” issues a stern warning to the haters who would tarnish Montag’s meteoric rise to world domination with their negativity, while “Sex Ed” is a bawdy little romp that promises a wealth of carnal knowledge to any lucky man who can look at her radically altered face long enough to get it on. Sample lyric:

You got the green light
Now ready set go
Give me that student body
I’ll teach you all I know

See? We told you it was good.

Brace yourself for a bout of sonic bliss and check out the tunes below:

Tags: Heidi Montag