Elton John Says Jesus Was Gay, His Publicist Braces For Armageddon

By: Alex Blagg / February 18, 2010

Well, there goes Elton John‘s invitation to the Vatican’s 4th of July barbecue this year! The openly gay singing legend sat down for a chat with Parade magazine recently and, because it’s what anyone else would do in the same situation, John took the occasion as an opportunity to declare that Jesus Christ was homosexual (someone’s publicist is having a fun day today!) Yeah, really:

“I think Jesus was a compassionate, super-intelligent gay man who understood human problems. On the cross, he forgave the people who crucified him. Jesus wanted us to be loving and forgiving. I don’t know what makes people so cruel. Try being a gay woman in the Middle East—you’re as good as dead.”

Never mind that popping sound you just heard—it’s just Fred Phelps‘ head exploding from a quadruple brain aneurysm.

We’re just going to assume that this is all a clever ploy by Elton to boost his record sales in the Bible Belt by encouraging bonfires. But share your thoughts in the comments section anyway: How much flak do you think he’ll catch over this?