Elton John Says Jesus Was Gay, His Publicist Braces For Armageddon

Elton John Says Jesus Was Gay, His Publicist Braces For Armageddon-photo

Well, there goes Elton John's invitation to the Vatican's 4th of July barbecue this year! The openly gay singing legend sat down for a chat with Parade magazine recently and, because it's what anyone else would do in the same situation, John took the occasion as an opportunity to declare that Jesus Christ was homosexual (someone's publicist is having a fun day today!) Yeah, really:

"I think Jesus was a compassionate, super-intelligent gay man who understood human problems. On the cross, he forgave the people who crucified him. Jesus wanted us to be loving and forgiving. I don't know what makes people so cruel. Try being a gay woman in the Middle East—you're as good as dead."

Never mind that popping sound you just heard—it's just Fred Phelps' head exploding from a quadruple brain aneurysm.

We're just going to assume that this is all a clever ploy by Elton to boost his record sales in the Bible Belt by encouraging bonfires. But share your thoughts in the comments section anyway: How much flak do you think he'll catch over this?

Discuss

Default avatar
  • sophie1986
    sophie1986

    The bible says Jesus is in all of us, so technically he's bi.

  • Melissa
    Melissa

    Sad, people say things that are totally bizarre only to excuse their own behavior. Some of the comments on here are totally ludicrous. He's gay because he wore a robe. Yeah, and ALL men and women wore robes back then. Many in other cultures still do. If Elton John goes to hell, it sure wont be for the statement. People say stupid things all the time. It will only because he hasn't accepted Jesus as his lord and savior and live by the words of the bible.

  • sophie1986
    sophie1986

    [quote=Pops Warner]Are we sure that Elton wasn't referring to his saucy Latino pool boy, also named Jesus? Amen.

  • hmm
    hmm

    shut up!!dats TOTALLY offensive.. he's goin ta hell for dat..!!

  • Humberto
    Humberto

    And the Pope wears dresses and little red shiny shoes...

  • Larry Harris
    Larry Harris

    Im not sure what to say about this ,,

  • what?
    what?

    thats offensive

  • Pops Warner
    Pops Warner

    Are we sure that Elton wasn't referring to his saucy Latino pool boy, also named Jesus?

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