10 Signs You May Be Addicted to Sex Addiction Therapy
Having just come off a solid month of sexual addiction therapy in Hattiesburg, Mississippi, Tiger Woods is ready for more, jetting off to Scottsdale, Arizona to get started on yet another residency treatment program for his fleshly passions.
While many greatly benefit from a therapeutic environment for dealing with their addiction, we can’t help but wonder if Tiger is becoming addicted to the addiction therapy itself.
In order to properly assess, we’ve developed 10 Signs You May Be Addicted to Sex Addiction Therapy:
1. You’ve started asking even your family and close friends to call you “John Smith”.
2. Your “I’m the Boss Of My Junk” t-shirt is really starting to smell.
3. Your new best friend has pictures in his wallet of his 237 children.
4. You update your Facebook profile “interests and hobbies” section to include “verbalizing my lust in a supportive environment”
5. You spend half-an-hour confessing to your wife that you drank the last of the orange juice in the fridge, explaining why you did it, and then encouraging her to share her feelings with you on your offense.
6. You send your friends, “I’m Getting Well” greeting cards.
7. You cried while watching an episode of Jersey Shore because of just how casually Snooki treats hookups.
8. You can’t get the “It’s okay to dance, just keep it in your pants” therapy jingle out of your head.
9. When the pizza delivery place asks you for your home address, you find yourself responding, “Room 22B, South Wing, and you need to be here before 8pm”.
10. You’ve penned a three page apology letter to the girl from back in seventh grade who you tried to kiss at school dance during a Bryan Adams slow song.