Grading the Jonas Brothers as Athletes: Who Can Play Ball?
While the debate rages on in the music world over the quality of Jonas Brothers music, and over the musical ability of the individual Jonas boys themselves, we couldn’t help but notice a difference in the athletic talents of each of the three singing brothers.
After careful examination from a team of leading sports analysts, a music industry writer who knows nothing about sports, and the lady who sells overpriced muffins in the lobby, we’ve created a ranking of the Jonas Brothers based on their athletic abilities, from first to worst:
Some would argue that little brother Nick has the strongest musical chops; we are definitely arguing that Nick is the best of the three athletically. Just look at that concentration and approach to driving the golf ball, especially when girl”friend” Selena Gomez stands just feet away. Nick also appears to be the only brother capable of deftly throwing or catching a football. Seems the talent pool in the family may run downhill.
Grade: A-, nobody’s perfect, not even Nick Jonas.
While middle-brother Joe ponders the opportunity for branching out with his own solo career, not to mention coupling up with Pixie Lott, he also shows that he can handle a round ball. See how he keeps his head up while dribbling the ball, lines up his shot, and follows through with the skill of a shooter. The only noteworthy deficiency is the hipster boots. Whoa there cowboy, who wears boots to play basketball?
Grade: B, because we’ve also seen this.
We definitely know one thing Kevin has experienced that his younger brothers have not, but it’s certainly not athletic training. We searched and searched but were unable to find any evidence that oldest brother, Kevin, has any sports skills whatsoever. See here how little brother Nick gives Kevin some pointers on how to catch a football, how Kevin blows off the advice with the universal sign of “I got it — no problem”, then flubs the ball right toward his grill. Epic fail.
Grade: D-, despite the failure we believe in second chances.
If you were picking a sports team, who goes first among the J-Brothers?