Gary Busey Spawns, Ensuring That There Will Be Awesomeness in the Future

Rejoice; people! The Gary Busey screwball gene lives on! People magazine reports that the 65-year-old Celebrity Rehab graduate welcomed a son, Luke Sampson Busey, into the world with girlfriend Steffanie Sampson on Tuesday morning, bringing comfort and assurance to those who feared that the world might lack an adequate supply of loose cannons and red-carpet freakouts in years to come.

In a joint statement, the couple announced,

“This feels like a dream. We feel so blessed and are overwhelmed with happiness at Luke’s arrival.”

Busey then rambled for several pages about the mechanical insects that are burrowing into his brain, speculating on whether they were planted there by the U.S. government or a highly advanced alien race. Or at least we suspect he would have, had the Thorazine not kicked in.

Congratulations to the happy couple! Thanks for keeping things unreal for future generations.