Lil’ Wayne Is Running Low on “Get Out of Jail Free” Cards

First, it was root canals and toothy jewel cleaning, now, a small fire in the courthouse on the day of sentencing, and rapper/rocker Lil’ Wayne is once again seeing a delay in his inevitable trip to the Big House on the crime of carrying a loaded gun on his tour bus.  (For the record, loaded gun on rap bus — is that really a crime or just a “must have” rap bus travel item?)

With the smoke clearing from the courthouse, and another sentencing date about to be set, we can’t help but wonder what delay tactic Lil Wayne is cooking up next.  Of course, we have a few suggestions:

1. Dancing With the Stars Premiere

What judge could refuse Lil Wayne the right to see Kate Gosselin dancing?  It’s a Constitutional right!

2.  Can’t Miss “National ‘Get Over It’ Day“  on March 9th

Because, who needs to ‘get over it’ more than Lil Wayne?  Him missing this day would be like an Irish snake-killer named Patrick missing St. Paddy’s Day.

3.  Passover

Lil Wayne needs his matzoh.  He can’t be in prison on March 30.  Mazel tov!

4.  Gold-Plated Appendicitis

Not widely reported, but Lil Wayne had his appendix capped in 18k bling recently, and, sadly, the body’s most useless organ seems ready to rupture from its own weight in gold.  Two week delay!

5.  Kids Need Rap

Yes, kids have parents, and teachers, and astronauts, but who’s really going to teach them right from wrong, good from bad, bitches from ho’s?

She she lick me
Like a lollipop (yeah)
She she lick me
Like a lollipop (yeah)

Not going to get wisdom like that from Obama or your local Rotary Club President.

Tags: Lil Wayne