BUZZINGS: Naomi Campbell Uses Her Jedi Mind Tricks on Alleged Assault Victim

  • Naomi Campbell’s driver, who accused the model of assaulting him earlier this week, is now apologizing for causing the whole incident. Dick Cheney nods approvingly from his undisclosed location. (Parade)
  • Lady GaGa is dressing in police tape now. Which is as clear a sign as any that you should stay away. (PopEater)
  • Rihanna gets doused with liquid by giant robots. And that, boys and girls, is the story of the first Christmas. (Bossip)
  • Gwyneth Paltrow says that reading her advice blog will help you sleep better. Yeah, that sounds just about right. (Huffington Post)
  • Sean Penn keeps things classy, wishes rectal cancer upon his critics. Which is still better than sitting through The Assassination of Richard Nixon. (Dlisted)