National Enquirer Says Jeremy Renner Is Hiding In The Gay Locker

The National Enquirer is making claims that The Hurt Locker star Jeremy Renner is a closeted homosexual. The tabloid’s evidence seems a little slim: they claim that the actor’s love of musical theater is a good sign that the Oscar nominee is a friend of Mary (because a professional actor liking theater is simply so gay!) and they found a quote from a former acting coach who talked about not meeting Renner’s hypothetical gay beau, which just makes things more confusing. Basically, all they have supporting their outing of Renner is gay stereotypes and someone who never got to meet a man who may or may not have been Renner’s boyfriend at the time.

Then again, the Enquirer has been right about a few things (Meredith Baxter being a lesbian, John Edwards being maybe the worst husband ever, and a few other things we’re sure) so maybe he is gay? Who knows! There are plenty of closeted gay actors trolling around West Hollywood, hoping to go unnoticed. Then again, gay rumors about male actors are as commonplace in the media as beautiful female actresses talking about how “awkward” and “ugly” they were in high school. If you are male and a professional actor, your sexuality is going to be called into question at least once during your career.

If Renner isn’t gay we just hope he doesn’t take a page from Gerard Butler’s Book of Squashing Gay Rumors by becoming the human embodiment of HPV. No one wins in that scenario.