BUZZINGS: Jessica Simpson Tells John Mayer That The Napalm Factory Has Run Dry

 • Jessica Simpson, still desperately grasping for any press attention that doesn’t involve her being called fat, tells the world that John Mayer will “never have this napalm again.” (JustJared)

• Former SNL cast member Cheri Oteri is still alive! Also, we’ve all been mispronouncing her name for the past 15 years. (NY Mag)

Madonna’s current boy toy, Jesus Luz, confuses “kept” with “marriage” in his Portuguese-to-English dictionary, tells the world he is “a married man.” (Perez Hilton)

• Handsome movie star Ewan McGregor says he would totally “go gay” for…Philip Seymour Hoffman? (ONTD)

Conan O’Brien models the latest in redhead summer fashion as he stepped out with his family in Beverly Hills this weekend. (TMZ)