Spencer Pratt Quits Annoying People on ‘The Hills’ to Harass Terrorists Online

UPDATE: Hey, you now that whole Spencer Pratt, cyber-crime fighter thing? Surprise—people are now claiming that he made the whole thing up. A Hills insider claims that he’s using for the story as a cover, after getting kicked off the show for six weeks. Pratt reportedly got the time out for flipping out at a female producer after she made a request that he deemed unreasonable, screaming at her, “I should kill you for even asking me to do that!” Spencer may be eligible to come back on the show, pending completion of anger-management training.

The good news? Either way, he’ll still be off The Hills for a month and a half!

Spencer Pratt, actually doing something that benefits society? And, even better, quitting The Hills to do so? Is this the bestest Monday ever, or what? Now that his wife, Heidi Montag, has relieved Pratt of his managerial duties, Spencer is moving on to another vocation—fighting cyber-crime. Yup, that’s right:

“Upon learning of President Obama’s declaration that the ‘cyber threat is one of the most serious economic and national security challenges we face as a nation,’ I have decided to refocus my energy and devote my full resources to helping America face this and other unprecedented challenges…My new mission is this: To do my part in maintaining the technological superiority of the U.S. military and prevent emerging technologies from threatening our nation’s security.”

Makes sense; after all, what Al Qaeda operative wouldn’t pack it in and call it a day after discovering that America has sicced its Number One Dirtbag on him?

Pratt goes on to reveal that  he’s currently studying software engineering with a focus on encryption at USC, and has signed on to work for American Defense Enterprise’s cyber security division. And he’s totally serious about it—so much so that he’s chosen not to film any more episodes of The Hills this season in order to fulfill his new duties.

Sounds like a plan to us—just hearing that we won’t be assaulted by his smarmy mug on TV makes us feel safer already.