Kelly Osbourne Is Already Updating Her Six-Month-Old Autobiography, Because She’s Apparently Never Heard of Twitter

What exactly does Kelly Osbourne have against the forests of the world? Despite the fact that her autobiography, Fierce, was just published in September, the 25-year-old daughter of Ozzy Osbourne (and let’s not even get started on the need for a 25-year-old to write an autobiography) is poised to kill off a new slew of trees by rewriting the book. Because her life is apparently just that action-packed, fabulous and worth reading about.

The authoress recently revealed,

“Last week I started a rewrite of my autobiography Fierce, which was released last year. The publishers and I have decided it could do with updating after everything that’s gone on during the past six months, like taking part in Dancing with the Stars, and the cover photo needs changing too—I had black hair then.”

Oh, well, a change of hair color; that totally justifies a major rewrite. Because there’s absolutely no way in the world that anyone would be able to know that she’s blonde now without a second edition of Fierce. And the world. Must. Know.

But that’s not all. Keep your eyes on the bookstore shelves for Kel’s 50-volume autobiography, which will include such riveting reads as The Omelette I Had for Breakfast This Morning Was a Little Dry, I Think I’ll Paint My Bedroom Green and its nail-biter of a follow-up, No, Wait; Make That Pink. Yeah, Definitely Pink. I Think. Can I See the Samples Again?