Miley Cyrus Is Getting Her Own Place, Massive Housewarming Kegger Predicted

Party at Miley Cyrus’ place! Though she’s still just 17 years old, the Hannah Montana star has revealed that she’s purchased her own home, and she’s moving in just as soon as her mom Tish finishes helping her decorate it.

And because the “Party in the USA” singer is so, so mature these days, she promise the place is going to be “really Zen,” with a totally mellow vibe:

“We did all these different things to make it a place that’s so chill. Like all my couches are on the floor and I have pillows on the floor. It’s just serene—like my own kind of therapy.”

Therapy, eh? Can we assume that the Zen amenities will include a stripper pole in the living room?

And don’t worry, people; Miley’s Palace of Tranquility will be open to the public, so that she may bathe them in her awesome healing presence:

“My religion is love, so my door is always open for anyone who wants to come in. It’s a just a loving place.”

That’s a fine philosophy, Miley, but trust us; there are some knocks at the door that should go unanswered, no matter how charitable you’re feeling.