BUZZINGS: Charlie Sheen Denies Cheating on Wife, Despite Looking Like Total Perv

  • A newly mustachioed Charlie Sheen says he’s not cheating on his wife. He just happens to look like somebody with a drawer full of massage oils who buys roofies in bulk. (PopEater)
  • The Jonas Brothers perform on a rooftop. One strong wind, and the celibacy rate for America’s youth drops by 30 percent. (Wonderwall)
  • Rufus Wainright claims that he knows 50 Cent is gay, probably because Fiddy macraméd himself a pair of jean shorts. (Starpulse)
  • Kate Gosselin says she has no other option but to do reality TV shows, apparently unaware of the burgeoning market for professional henpecking. (Huffington Post)
  • Kathy Griffin to get poolside Pap smear for My Life on the D List. Feds respond by raising terror alert to orange. (Socialite Life)