Spencer Pratt Puts the “Twit” in “Twitter,” Disses Audrina, Ke$ha and JWoww

Wow, Spencer Pratt seems to be taking the alleged assault on his wife Heidi Montag awfully hard. How else to explain the generally even-keeled Hills personality’s Tweet-rampage on Thursday?

Taking a break from dispensing unsolicited and thoroughly foolhardy advice to the masses, Pratt transformed his Twitter account into a bully pulpit, inexplicably lashing out at his Hills compatriot Audrina Patridge, Jersey Shore charmer JWoww and “Tik Tok”  chanteuse Ke$ha.

With regard to his Hills-mate Patridge, Spencer first noted,

“I would like to make it CLEAR! My wife and audrina have severed all ties! We no longer deal with that fake world and fake people like her.”

Pratt went on to unleash a venomous tsunami of insults on Patridge, touching on everything from her relationship with singer Ryan Cabrera to her plastic surgeries, particularly as they compare to Montag’s scalpel-enabled makeover:

“Audrina – Don’t hate because your nasty Tijuana plastic surgery got you no press… and my wife is #1 story on people – 5 days in a row!”

“Audrina – you want press? Leak another 50 naked photos of yourself like u did to get relevant to in the first place.”

“Who elected you to gage [sic] cool – BITCH! Why don’t u and ur played out 90s singer Cabrera go into a bathroom stall and do what u do best…”

Then, for reasons unknown, Pratt set his cyber-sights on Ke$ha, ranting,

“Good news tweeties… Just saw a pic of kesha at Lax with a paper bag on her head – THANK YOU!”

“On a dif note – just heard kesha did a body paint shoot – next time use invisible paint- give my ears back. Tictoc bitch- ur time is up!”

As for JWoww? Apparently, Pratt is appalled by the quality of her surgical enhancement:

“So glad my wife gets her surgery in bev hills and not where Jwow and audrina go. We love american doctors!”

“Jwow got her boobies done in the back of the situations strip club – fyi”

Dude; save some of that vitriol for the terrorists you’re supposed to be tracking down online.

So, uh, is there anyone that Pratt does approve of? Yes—the men and women in our nation’s armed forces:

“Support our troops with a retweet! #AmericaWants Operation Homefront to get a full-page ad in USA TODAY.”

We’re sure they’re honored by the association.