Gwyneth Paltrow Drops Out of Movie Because of Parasitic Burden of Family

You have to give Gwyneth Paltrow credit for one thing: Even when she’s not filming her latest cinematic disappointment, she still manages to bring the drama.

The Iron Man actress and Self-Appointed World’s Leading Authority on Everything has dropped out of her upcoming film The Danish Girl—in which she was to co-star with Nicole Kidman—to spend more time with her family, husband Chris Martin and their kids, Apple and Moses.

Well, actually, what she suggested was that her family has such a parasitic effect on her that she was forced to abandon the project. According to Paltrow,

“Some days I feel like everyone in my world has plugged themselves into my kidneys. I’m so tired.”

It sure will be nice for Apple and Moses when they grow up to read that their mom regarded them as an organ-threatening burden, huh? And we can only imagine that millions of working moms throughout the world are rushing to find Paltrow a tissue, in between keeping a roof over their kids’ heads and keeping them fed, clean and clothed.

Maybe Gwynnie can take the time off to find all sorts of fascinating fatigue-fighting products to tell us all about in her GOOP newsletter.