Russell Brand Thinks Justin Bieber Should Do Heroin And Other Horrible Ideas

Russell Brand has some very sage and healthy advice for Justin Bieber: develop a heroin addiction.

Russell told Rolling Stone that he wished teenyboppers like Justin were heroin addicts because it would spare him the torture of hearing their music. Is Russell aware that his stereo comes with an “off” button?

From Rolling Stone (via LimeLife):

The top of the hit parade would look very different if teenyboppers were exposed to heroin… It would weed a lot of them out. I don’t think Justin Bieber could handle Syd Barrett from Pink Floyd’s habit. A lot of people in their journey to rehab overdose, and then, perhaps, we could be spared their awful music. It’s Darwinian. It’s the law of natural selection.

Okay, so let’s examine Russell’s foolproof logic here: the musicians who have died from overdose were simply being weeded out for their terrible music. Yes, that explains why icons like Jimi Hendrix, Janice Joplin, Michael Jackson, Elvis died, but sappy Pat Boone continues to live on. It’s just natural selection!

Maybe Russell was just a wee bit jealous that his fiance Katy Perry was caught fawning over Baby Biebs? No need for public tantrums and irresponsible advice, Russell, we’re sure Katy loves you very much.