Jessica Simpson Says Her Teeth Are Too “Slippery” to Brush

Chances are, way more than 4 out of 5 dentists would not recommend Jessica Simpson’s dental-hygiene regimen. The Dukes of Hazzard actress, who last month revealed that she rarely brushes her chompers, went on The Ellen DeGeneres Show to explain why. And you’re not going to believe her reasoning for why she only brushes “maybe three times a week.” Check it:

“Because my teeth are so white and I don’t like them to feel too slippery but I do use Listerine and I do floss everyday. But I don’t brush them every day…My lips just slide all over the place….I can’t catch up with my mouth…I need a little coating…”

That’s right; her teeth are too white and slippery to brush. Though we’re guessing that won’t be a problem for too much longer, if she continues her current routine.

Despite her lackadaisical approach to dental hygiene, though, Simpson swears that her breath hasn’t suffered any because of it:

“I know it’s gross but I always have fresh breath. It’s really weird but I have great breath.”

Yeah, um…we’ll just go ahead and take your word for it, Jess. No wonder none of her boyfriends stick around for very long…