BUZZINGS: Jessica Simpson Is One Step Away From a Dental Intervention

  • Dental experts warn that Jessica Simpson’s lackadaisical brushing habits will lead to trouble down the road. Perhaps Jessica could avoid this future calamity by never opening her mouth again. (Wonderwall)
  • A bunch of kids reenact The Hills, which we’re assuming is considered child abuse in at least 37 states. (PopEater)
  • Steve Carell says he’s quitting The Office. Don’t worry, if life imitates art, he’ll fail spectacularly in his own endeavor, then come crawling back for his old position. (Starpulse)
  • Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are currently in the same city, which can only mean one thing: Even as you read this, they’re engaged in hot, sweaty, passionate lovemaking. It’s a scientific fact. (Hollywood Life)
  • Robert Downey Jr. says he did cocaine with his dad when he was eight years old. Which just goes to show, kids; early drug use is the key to fame, success and riches beyond your wildest expectations. (Socialite Life)