Simon Cowell Will Soon Be Known as SIR Grumpy-Pants

Wow; apparently, Simon Cowell might actually be almost important as he thinks he is.

The cantankerous American Idol judge will reportedly be knighted next month in the Queen’s Birthday Honours list for his important contributions to society—and no, we’re not talking about his ability to crush the dreams of tone-deaf music-industry aspirants.

Cowell was apparently recommended personally by former British prime minister Gordon Brown, who was impressed by Cowell’s “Helping Haiti” fund-raising drive. According to a source,

“Gordon Brown was very keen for Simon to get proper recognition for his work.”

Does this mean he’ll get his own suit of armor, too? We imagine that would come in handy at some point, what with all of the blunt criticism he so cavalierly tosses around.