Tiger Woods Put on Strict “No Infidelity” Regimen

Tiger Woods is going to have a lot of time—and energy—to put into his golf game for the time being.

As the links legend and serial philanderer heads toward his inevitable divorce from his wife Elin Nordegren, he’s been cautioned by his crack legal team to avoid dating altogether until the ink on the divorce papers is dry, lest Elin use his extracurricular activities to drain him of more cash.

According to a source,

“Elin’s building a character case [based on his serial philandering]. Elin’s team is watching [Tiger’s] every move.”

Says another insider,

“She wants more money than Michael Jordan’s ex got.”

(Jordan’s ex-wife, Juanita, reportedly received a record $168 million in their 2006 divorce settlement after allegations of infidelity surfaced.)

We only hope that the banking industry doesn’t collapse again from all the gold-diggers of the world requesting loans until Tiger is officially available again.