Charlie Sheen Does a Real-Life “Wall Street” Sequel, and Other Hilarious Celebrity Items

Just because celebrity gossip is, like, the most important thing ever doesn’t mean we can’t have a few laughs about it. Join us now as Celebuzz Guest Comedian Blogger and recurring Funny or Die comedienne Ellyn Daniels looks at the lighter side of today’s celebrity news.

With the release of Wall Street 2 on the horizon, it appears to me that by going to jail, Charlie Sheen is attempting to live out the journey his character, Bud Fox, began at the end of the first film. But why should we fill up our already over-crowded jails with method actors? If the judge really wanted to punish Sheen he should have sentenced him to 30 days of watching reruns of Two and a Half Men. (Not the ones with Jane Lynch, of course. She’s the best!)

Apparently, Jesse James is expanding his business endeavors into selling “(pieces) of pop-culture history.” He is using EBAY to try get cash for the model Red Baron plane that he first advertised in his Nazi salute photo. Inside sources have revealed that Jesse’s EBAY username is Pope-of-Welding. Could that be his way of paying homage to Pope Benedict XVI, because of the time he spent in Hitler Youth, or does Jesse just have an obscene amount of confidence in his welding skills? That’s for you guys to decide. Sandra Bullock was unavailable for comment. 

In other news, Al and Tipper Gore are calling it quits after 40 years. Insiders say that Al had been complaining for a while that there were just too many inconvenient truths between the two of them. I just think it’s a shame that none of the additional heat from Global Warming found its way into their bedroom.