Craigslist Job Posting For Lindsay Lohan’s New Assistant (FAKE EXCLUSIVE!)

It was reported this morning that Lindsay Lohans assistant has quit her job after finally tiring of the troubled starlet’s increasingly erratic behavior and legal woes. And now, mere hours later, your friendly sleuths here at Celebuzz have acquired the following transcript of what our shadowy network of Craigslist-trolling operatives tell us is a (fake, completely made up) job posting Lindsay Lohan posted late last night in a desperate search for new help (though tragically not the kind of help she needs).

Seeking New Assistent For Fab Fast-Pased Celebrity Lifestyle — UNPAYED INTURN!!!! (Hollywood)

I am a beautiful and famous important star and I need a new assistant ASAP!!!! You must be a good driver, and be pretty (but not to pretty!!!), and know how to undo SCRAM bracelets. Basically you’ll handle all my things I have to do so I can focus on my acting and publisity and my true love Samantha Ronson Lohan.

Need you 2 B availible 27/4 for anything I might have come up like photo shoots with Dave Chapelle. Must be discrete and have an adequite understanding of how to do Twitters. Most important thing is I’m the most important thing!!!!!!!!!! If you do a good job and don’t try to tell me what to do you will get famous like me (but not as famous as me, duh).

No paparotzis so don’t even ask unless you’re offering $$$$$$!!!!

Sent from my BlackBerry